STANTON, CA – Needing a self-confidence boost from total strangers this morning, local woman Lillian Cherry is desperately seeking attention online from men who’d totally creep her out in real life.
“Whenever I need a little pick me up, I take a few quick selfies from my most flattering angles and post on Instagram,” Ms Cherry stated while holding her iPhone above her head at a 45 degree angle and cocking it to one side.
Ms Cherry excitedly watches the comments appear in real-time. often within just a few seconds of posting. “They’re usually tons of super cute comments,” she happily told reporters, “like ‘Damn, girl, you look scrumdiddlyumptious this fine morning’ or ‘That face could buy a Rolls Royce.'”
“Whenever I’m doubting how pretty I am, which is quite a lot actually,” Ms Cherry admitted while laughing, “all I have to do is read the comments and I feel beautiful again. I just love getting instant validation and attention from guys who’d gross me out if I ever saw them on the street.”
“It’s like an addiction, honestly,” she confessed. “The more attention I get from losers online who have nothing better to do with their time than make suggestive comments on my pictures, the more I need it. It’s a vicious cycle!”
In her most recent post, Ms Cherry warned her followers that if they ever approached her in real life, she’d call the cops.