MIAMA, FL – Quelling doubts that modern girls can masterfully juggle casual trysts with scores of guys concurrently, a study conducted by the University of Miami has found that women are experts at multitasking several fuckboys at once.
“Women pride themselves on being great multitaskers for good reason,” stated Jessica Slater, who spearheaded the study of 750 women over three years across the United States. “When it comes to handing multiple fuckboys simutaneously, women have an uncanny ability to maintain focus and concentration.”
“We found that women will often be sexting one fuckboy while answering DMs from another and talking to a third about what dirty things she’s gonna to do him tonight,” Ms Slater stated. “All the while, these amazing women never become confused or sidetracked from the tasks at hand.”
“No matter the woman’s educational level, occupational attainment or socioeconomic background; No matter the woman’s race, color or creed, we found the same results,” Ms Slater happily told reporters. “Women possess a special, instinctual capability for juggling multiple fuckboys at the same time.”
“Seeing any number of fuckboys has always been effortless for me,” Goldie Robles who was part of the study told reporters of her own experience as an adept multitasker. “It’s easy and so much fun! Multitasking just comes naturally for us girls, I guess.”
“I’ve got five fuckboys I’m talkng to right now,” Kristi Vaughn, who was not part of the study, told reporters. “I know exactly what stage of the relationship I’m in with each of them and what I’m willing to do and not do in bed with each one as well. I never get confused about who’ve I sent nudes to and who I haven’t yet.”
“Hold on,” Ms Vaugh interrupted herself. “I’ve got to respond to John’s dick pic while I let Jerome know I’ll be a little late to our booty call.”