EL SEGUNDO, CA – In an effort to increase awareness of prostitution to pre-pubescent girls worldwide, Barbie has unveiled a new aspirational doll line called Happy Hookers, the iconic doll-maker revealed this week.
“Toy makers have traditionally shied away from sexually oriented subject matter,” Mattel spokesman Mark Fields told reporters, “but rather than play it safe, we here at Mattel are valiantly defining the future of adult themed dolls for children.”
“It’s a shame that today’s girls are lacking a proper role model in the world of sex work,” Mr Fields continued, “but our new Happy Hookers Barbie doll line will demystify the sex industry for millions of curious little girls who may have interest in a fulfilling career as a call girl.”
Reporters learned that Happy Hookers represents empowered women who own their sexuality by giving cheap quickies to desperate men in dirty back alleyways. Barbie firmly believes that a strong woman isn’t afraid to use her body as a sperm receptacle for hire.
“Unlike other Barbies, this line of dolls is about women who won’t tolerate men’s disrespect and tells little girls everywhere that a good prostitute puts her life at risk for her pimp,” Mr Fields lauded. “I’m sure parents can’t wait to see the look on their daughter’s face as her Happy Hookers play fight over the best street corners to turn tricks.”
Happy Hookers includes a Play It Safe kit for the misadventures any working girl encounters on the job. The kit comes complete with a 12 pack of condoms and an all-in-one HIV, STD and pregnancy test, plus pepper spray at no additional cost!