Live everyday like it’s your last. I’ve always loved that motto and tried, often without success, to live up to its wisdom. But today is different. Today, I’m truly going to live like it’s my last. That’s why I’m making funeral arrangements at work.
Most people would be jumping out of airplanes, climbing Mount Everest, making passionate love to their wife one last time or visiting cherished family and friends. Most people don’t have the balls to spend their final day on earth in a sterile office attending mandatory staff meetings with people they can barely tolerate for a hip but soulless start-up that offers free beer and lunch.
Not me. I’ve got fortitude. I’m a hard-working, responsible adult who can plan my own mind-blowing memorial service while at the same time fielding emails from my boss explaining why I was ten minutes late to work last Tuesday.
Let’s face it. Those embalming fluids, fancy caskets and ornate flower arrangements aren’t going to pay for themselves. As a caring son and brother, I refuse to financially burden my family and waste their time with frivolous funeral plans during their time of grieving. No, I’m better than that.
My co-workers have been super supportive and even offered tips on some great funeral homes with fairly reasonable prices and cemeteries with available plots that have great views of the city. My co-workers are the absolute best and I wouldn’t want to share my last day alive with anyone else.