Tag:Killers

California Reduces Murder to Jaywalking as Way to End Harmful Stigma Faced by Cold-Blooded Killers

SACRAMENTO, CA - As murderers suffer increasing discrimination for simply committing heinous acts of homicide, California has reduced murder to a jaywalking infraction as...

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...

Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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I Believe All Women Because It’s Biologically Impossible for Vaginas to Lie

In the current year, I'm astonished there are still...

Breaking: Unarmed Black Man Killed With Kindness by Police

BALTIMORE, MD - With police civility out of control...
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