Awkward! 22 Year Old Last in Friend Group to Sell Nudes on Onlyfans

HUNTINGTON, NY - Twenty-two year old Huntington woman Lela Ellis is distressed today after learning she's the last person in her group of friends...

Cute Couple Instantly Clicked After Learning They Both Had Dying in Common

CHANDLER, AZ - Having trouble finding someone with the same interests and goals, cute couple Ruth Newton and Bill Weaver instantly clicked after learning...

Kinky! Feminist Fantasizes About Fucking the Patriarchy Like a Submissive 1950s Housewife

Despite being kink-shamed by fellow gender equality crusaders, feminist Vicki Ballard fantasizes non-stop about fucking the patriarchy like a submissive 1950s housewife, shocked feminist...

Bored Couple Forced to Talk to Each Other After Finishing Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Amazon Prime and Youtube

FRENSO, CA - No longer able to put off their inevitable interaction, bored local couple Frank Phelps and Kathryn Kirkland were forced to talk...

Shocking Number of Women Struggle Living from Boyfriends’ Paycheck to Boyfriends’ Paycheck

WASHINGTON, DC - Despite a strong economy with rising wages among America's boyfriends, a shocking number of women still struggle living from boyfriends' paycheck...

Women Experts at Multitasking Several Fuckboys at Once, Study Finds

MIAMI, FL - Quelling doubts that modern girls can masterfully juggle casual trysts with scores of guys concurrently, a study conducted by the University...

Pope Francis: Having Sex Is Literally Like Watching Live Amateur Porn

The Vatican - Warning against the evils of observing oneself having sex, Pope Francis told parishioners at the Vatican this last Sunday that having...

Area Man Divorces Wife After Catching Her Folding Laundry

MADISON, WI - Unwilling to tolerate his wife's abusive and treacherous ways, area man Rick Roth plans to divorce wife Jill after catching her...

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...

Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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Harvard Admits an Alarmingly High Rate of Male Students Are Attracted to Females

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FBI: Extremist Groups Plotting Fun-Filled Gatherings With Friends Must Be Stopped

WASHINGTON, DC - Deliberately flouting government mandates to maintain...

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5 Easy Ways to Let Loved Ones Know You’re a Literal Nazi

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