Love & Sex

Awkward! 22 Year Old Last in Friend Group to Sell Nudes on Onlyfans

HUNTINGTON, NY - Twenty-two year old Huntington woman Lela Ellis is distressed today after learning she's the last person in her group of friends...
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Love & Sex

Cute Couple Instantly Clicked After Learning They Both Had Dying in Common

CHANDLER, AZ - Having trouble finding someone with the same interests and goals, cute couple Ruth Newton and Bill Weaver instantly clicked after learning...
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Love & Sex

Kinky! Feminist Fantasizes About Fucking the Patriarchy Like a Submissive 1950s Housewife

Despite being kink-shamed by fellow gender equality crusaders, feminist Vicki Ballard fantasizes non-stop about fucking the patriarchy like a submissive 1950s housewife, shocked feminist...
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Love & Sex

Bored Couple Forced to Talk to Each Other After Finishing Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Amazon Prime and Youtube

FRENSO, CA - No longer able to put off their inevitable interaction, bored local couple Frank Phelps and Kathryn Kirkland were forced to talk...
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Love & Sex

Shocking Number of Women Struggle Living from Boyfriends’ Paycheck to Boyfriends’ Paycheck

WASHINGTON, DC - Despite a strong economy with rising wages among America's boyfriends, a shocking number of women still struggle living from boyfriends' paycheck...
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Love & Sex

Women Experts at Multitasking Several Fuckboys at Once, Study Finds

MIAMI, FL - Quelling doubts that modern girls can masterfully juggle casual trysts with scores of guys concurrently, a study conducted by the University...
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Love & Sex

Pope Francis: Having Sex Is Literally Like Watching Live Amateur Porn

The Vatican - Warning against the evils of observing oneself having sex, Pope Francis told parishioners at the Vatican this last Sunday that having...
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Love & Sex

Area Man Divorces Wife After Catching Her Folding Laundry

MADISON, WI - Unwilling to tolerate his wife's abusive and treacherous ways, area man Rick Roth plans to divorce wife Jill after catching her...
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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...
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Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.
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Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...
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Newlyweds Excitedly Planning Divorce

PITTSBURGH, PA - Anxiously anticipating the next big step...
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Perfectionist Looter Knows He Can Pillage Stores, Burn Down Police Stations Better Than That

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Disappointed with his poor performance during...
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Area Man Wakes Up Next to Frumpy, Short-Haired Lesbian Impersonating His Wife

COLUMBUS, OH - Certain he fell asleep next to...
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Report: Disproportionate Number of Women Having Babies

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