Tag:Elevator

Breaking: Woman Miraculously Survives Yet Another Nice Guy Holding Elevator Door Open For Her

NEW YORK CITY - Endlessly victimized by men holding elevator doors open for her, local woman Mandy Christophson reports that she miraculously survived yet...

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...

Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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Russian Intelligence Agency Confirms Trump Meddled in US Elections

Damning new information from Foreign Intelligence Service, a Russian intelligence agency, confirms Trump meddled in the US presidential election.
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