NEW YORK CITY – Endlessly victimized by men holding elevator doors open for her, local woman Mandy Christophson reports that she miraculously survived yet another nice guy patiently holding the elevator door open for her even though he could have easily let it close on her fat ass.
“I literally don’t know how I’m standing here talking to you after what just happened to me, and it happens to me ALL. THE. TIME.” the 25 year old magazine editor told our trusty reporter on scene moments after the harrowing incident occurred. “My life seriously flashed before my eyes.”
“The way he just stood there motionless with one arm outstretched calmly waiting for me to make sure the door didn’t close was super creepy and way threatening. I thought for sure this time my life was over,” Ms Christophson said.
“I’m so sick of these entitled guys and the constant creepy little thoughtful things they do for me, like holding the door, giving up their seat on the subway or politely saying ‘Ladies first,'” Ms Christophson stated. “It makes me feel attacked and unsafe.”
One witness who saw the whole ordeal said he was in utter shock that Ms Christophson wasn’t seriously injured or even bruised. “I’m surprised he didn’t put her in the hospital,” the witness stated, wishing to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation. “She’s a brave woman who stood up to a man committing a brazen, selfless act that only inconvenienced himself – and she lived to tell the tale.”
Investigators are still unsure how Ms Christophson managed to come out of this horrifying situation completely unscathed. Charges against the man holding the elevator door open are pending.