Perfectionist Looter Knows He Can Pillage Stores, Burn Down Police Stations Better Than That

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Disappointed with his poor performance during days of rioting in the Twin Cities, perfectionist looter Pete Gibbs knows he can pillage...

Chicago Residents Terrorized by Police Keeping Community Safe

CHICAGO - Fed up with cops thwarting crime and protecting their neighborhood, Southside Chicago residents say they're done being terrorized by police keeping their...

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

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Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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Yale Professor Advocating White Genocide Kills Self to Get Ball Rolling

Desperate to end white supremacy and wipe the scourge...

Lucky Area Man Finally Gets His 15 Minutes of Anonymity

SOMEWHERE, USA - Yearning to have a moment of...
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