AKRON, OH – Wanting to enjoy all of the benefits that white supremacy has to offer, Nigerian brothers Abeo and Akunna Adeyemi achieved their childhood dream of living in a white supremacist country last month when they moved to Akron, Ohio in the United States.
“Since we were young, the two of us have dreamed of living in a white supremacist country where people are oppressed by free speech, prosperity beyond belief and communities safe enough for cute blonde girls to jog after dark,” older brother Akunna told reporters. “We miss our home country very much, but there’s almost no white supremacy in Nigeria.”
“In Africa, America is revered as a bastion of white supremacy where even a black man can be elected president by a bunch white racists,” younger brother Abeo stated. “If black guys like us aren’t being repressed by having a realistic shot at the most powerful position in the world, we don’t want to have anything to do with a country like that.”
“The two of us were excited to move to America’s heartland after learning it has the highest concentration of white supremacists on earth,” Akunna stated while glancing over at his smiling brother. “Ohio is a hotbed of white supremacy where we’ve been tyrannized by white people greeting us with open arms.”
“Even our host family, who are open white supremacists, subjugate us non-stop with their politeness and generous hospitality,” Akunna related. “My brother and I feel right at home.”