Airlines to Anally Probe Travelers Just to Kinda See Who’s Kinky Like That

Airlines to Anally Probe Travelers as Part of Enhanced Boarding Process

FT WORTH, TX – In a press release sent to media outlets across the country, several airlines have announced they will begin to anally probe travelers in the coming weeks just to kinda see who’s kinky like that.

“The airlines industry is full of proud kinks, like myself,” stated American Airlines spokesman Kevin Nichols. “We want to give travelers’ a moment during the boarding process to let their freak flag fly, without shame or judgment.”

“We believe anal probing will enhance travelers’ security, safety and overall flying experience,” Mr Nichols said, “while letting the kinkiest among us feel right at home with a thumb up their anus.”

“Travelers clearly enjoy taking off clothes and undergoing an intrusive full body scan that shows the size of their penis, which is kinda kinky, to be honest,” Southwest Airlines spokeswoman Ann Cook told reporters.

“Kink still remains an insignificant part of the the travel experience,” Ms Cook stated, “so we’re filling that hole by stretching passengers’ butt cheeks wide open, inserting a finger into their anus and watching who squirms.”

The airline industry suspects travelers will happily bend over and take it up the ass.

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