HOLLYWOOD – The Simpsons, the beloved cartoon series owned by Fox, is forbidding the use of rich, Hollywood actors to voice characters that are working class stiffs.
The move comes after the network realized incredibly successful, pampered elites pretending to be obese, balding, inept safety inspectors struggling to pay the bills with wives always correcting their foolish behavior may be offensive and could send the wrong message.
“Virtually every character on the show is trapped in a life of financial instability in moderate to low tax brackets,” Fox stated on Thursday. “Meanwhile, our voice actors enjoy a life of obscene luxury making millions of dollars a year; this is classist, unfair and just plain unacceptable.”
“As wealthy, out of touch Hollywood elites,” the Fox statement went on, “The Simpsons’ voice actors cannot identify with the plight of poorly educated, blue collars stiffs like Barney Gumble, Chief Wiggum and Homer Simpson, who gets drunk at the bar every night after work while neglecting children with anti-social behavior.”
“The show has insensitive to common laboring peasants everywhere,” Fox bluntly admitted. “We’ve been tone deaf for many decades and are working to rectify the issue. From this day forward, we’re only allowing working class stiffs to voice act a working class stiff.”
Fox plans to immediately terminate its entire cast of outrageously wealthy, insanely talented voice actors like Hank Azaria, Nancy Cartwright and Harry Shearer and replace them with humble, wage-earning proletariat who have zero talent but live the working class life The Simpsons portrays.
