FRESNO, CA – Health experts in California this week have found a strange, new Coronavirus symptom which makes you think you have Coronavirus symptoms.
With vague, wide ranging symptoms from coughing to difficulty breathing, experts have discovered a previously unknown symptom of Covid-19. “Simply believing you have coronavirus symptoms is one of the illness’s signature symptoms,” says Dr Billy Cobb, who first detected the new symptom in several of his patients.
“If you suspect you have coronavirus, you’ve already been infected and should expect a horrible, agonizing, unimaginably painful death – alone in a nearly empty hospital,” Dr Cobb stated bluntly.
The novel coronavirus is a very sophisticated little bug, health experts warn, and has mutated in a way no one could have predicted. “Thinking you have symptoms for an illness being one of its symptoms is unprecedented in the history of medicine,” acclaimed epidemiologist Eileen Compton stated. “We’ve never seen this in any other disease.”
Experts urge the public to remain calm when they experience chills or a light fever. “Having a little muscle pain doesn’t mean you have coronavirus,” Ms Compton told reporters, “unless you think you might have it, which is one of Covid’s symptoms, so in that case you definitely have it.”