MADISON, WI – Unwilling to tolerate his wife’s abusive and treacherous ways, area man Rick Roth plans to divorce wife Jill after catching her passionately folding a pile of laundry on the couple’s matrimonial bed this morning, sources close to the family have confirmed.
“I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” the distressed father of two young children told reporters. “All these years my wife has told me she wouldn’t dare lift a finger around the house, and absolutely hated doing laundry. Then suddenly one day – bam – she’s doing it right there on OUR bed,” Mr Roth stated while choking back tears.
“We’ve been married for over tens year and my husband knows that I’ve never done anything like this before,” Mrs Roth stated. “It was a moment of weakness. I was bored and lonely and just needed a mindless household chore to keep me occupied. I swear I’ll go back to texting girlfriends, doing my nails and posting cutesy photos of the kids on Instagram all day, like a good wife.”
Despite his wife’s pleas for forgiveness and attempts at reconciliation, Mr Roth says the couple’s trust and bond have been irreparably damaged.
“I can’t get over the way Jill was touching each item of clothing, so tenderly and lovingly folding my underwear; it was almost sensual. She hasn’t touched me like that in years,” the heartbroken husband stated.
“What worries me most,” Mr Roth confided to reporters, “is how the site of their own mother shamelessly engaging in such domesticated behavior will impact the children and their future relationships. I can only imagine how traumatizing it must be for them.”