MADISON, WI – Breaking news from downtown today as twenty five year old woman Susan Sloan was terrified a guy just asking for directions was secretly hitting on her, police reports reveal.
Convinced a man needing directions to a local guitar shop was actually trying to get down her pants, the visibly frightened woman told cops that it was “pretty obvious” he was trying to flirt with her.
Throughout the ordeal, Ms Sloan had a creepy feeling that some random dude was slyly trying to ask her out on a date while pretending to be lost.
“It felt like he would never stop asking stupid questions about what street he should turn on so he could continue talking with me in the hopes of slipping in some personal anecdote to get a non-direction related conversation going,” Ms Sloan told police of the traumatic encounter.
Concerned other women may become frightened victims like herself, Ms Sloan has organized a protest demanding men stop asking women for directions in a desperate attempt to secretly chat them up.