SOMEWHERE, USA – Yearning to have a moment of total obscurity before he dies, a lucky area man finally got his fifteen minutes of anonymity today, sources close to the unknown individual revealed.
Speaking on condition that he remain nameless, the unidentified gentleman told reporters he never believed in his wildest dreams that he’d become anonymous. “It’s a cliche, right? Everyone will get their fifteen minutes of anonymity, but no one actually believes it’ll happen.”
“Not one person on earth acknowledged my existence for the first time in my life,” he said. “My friends, my girlfriend and even my family acted like I wasn’t even alive. It was absolutely wonderful!”
“Once you get a taste of anonymity, it’s like a drug,” the newly unknown man admitted. “You need your next fix and dread going back to being just a somebody like everyone else. You keep trying to think of ways to be the most anonymous and forgettable person ever.”
The faceless fellow plans on hiring an agent who will parlay his new found anonymity into a lucrative career of being completely insignificant. “I want to be anonymous for being anonymous,” he gloated.