‘Too White’ Vermont Passes Bill to Ship Blacks in from Compton to Increase Diversity
MONTPELIER, VT - Worried about being seen as a modern-day white ethno-state, Vermont passed a bill earlier today that will ship in black people...
Barbie Unveils Aspirational Doll Line Happy Hookers
EL SEGUNDO, CA - In an effort to increase awareness of prostitution to pre-pubescent girls worldwide, Barbie has unveiled a new aspirational doll line...
Chickens Demand Egg Cartons Accurately Represent Poultry Community
PETALUMA, CA - Aiming to fowl up the established pecking order in egg aisles nationwide, chickens are demanding that egg cartons accurately represent...
Family Devastated When Teen Son Comes Out as Straight White Male
PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN - A bombshell admission from a heterosexual, caucasian teen has left an area family devastated this week when their son Nathan...
Report: Disproportionate Number of Women Having Babies
WASHINGTON, DC - Highlighting the stark birth gap between men and women, a report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Adult Industry Cheers Anti-Porn Law Banning Female Performers of Child Bearing Age
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY - Horrified that their industry is little more than a conveyor belt of fertile young women having sex on camera with...
ISIS Bomb Child’s Birthday Party With Improvised Confetti Devise, Thrilling 22
MOSUL, IRAQ - Taking a more kid friendly approach in its comeback conquest of Iraq, the Middle East and Africa, reports coming out of...
CNN’s Jim Acosta Critically Injured by Trump Supporters Hurling Mild Verbal Insults
TAMPA, FL - Surrounded by an orderly crowd chanting tired slogans, CNN journalist Jim Acosta was critically injured this week when a mob of...
Furries Allowed as Emotional Support Animals on Domestic Flights, Says FAA
WASHINGTON, DC - Possessing human-like qualities that make them the perfect travel companions, furries are now allowed to accompany their owners as emotional support...