Tag:Healthy Living

Coronavirus Vaccine to Be Ready Soon After Everyone’s Already Dead, Promises CDC

WASHINGTON, DC - Calming fears about the health impacts of COVID-19, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) promised that a coronavirus vaccine will be...

Bullied Into Losing 100 lbs, Brave Teen Shows World Fat Shaming Really Works

DECATUR, IL - Brave teen Dillon Ruffle was recently bullied into losing nearly 100 lbs, according to sources close to the formerly obese teenager,...

Doctors Recommend Healthy Dose of White Guilt for Reduced Racial Tension

GLENDALE, AZ - With cases of race-related anxiety being reported at an ever increasing rate across the country, doctors are recommending a healthy dose...

Experts: Bawling Uncontrollably Like a Helpless Baby Left Alone in Its Crib Drastically Improves Mental Health

Developing cutting-edge mental health techniques to help adults better navigate the world around them, experts believe that bawling uncontrollably like a helpless baby that's...

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...

Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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Family Devastated When Teen Son Comes Out as Straight White Male

PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN - A bombshell admission from a...

Awkward! 22 Year Old Last in Friend Group to Sell Nudes on Onlyfans

HUNTINGTON, NY - Twenty-two year old Huntington woman Lela...
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