DECATUR, IL – Brave teen Dillon Ruffle was recently bullied into losing nearly 100 lbs, according to sources close to the formerly obese teenager, showing the world that fat shaming really works.
“As a hefty person most of my life, I’ve put up with bullies making me feel like a worthless little worm for years because I had a few extras pounds,” the once sickeningly heavyset teen revealed to reporters. “Now that my cholesterol’s down and I’m fly as fuck, it’s my turn to give the gift of fat shaming.”
“Being mercilessly fat shamed by classmates and friends is a proven, effective method for getting kids to slim down and get healthier,” stated Lester Prince, principal of Red Oak High School. “We have a 100% tolerance policy on fat shaming at our school for both students and staff and we’ve seen spectacular results.”
“It just takes a bit of encouragement,” notorious bully and fat shamer Billy Beard stated. “Like one day I yelled, ‘Yo Dillon, it looks like you ate your mama for breakfast, you disgusting fat ass’ while he was trying to climb ropes during gym. Everyone, even our teacher, busted up laughing.”
“I can see now that all of the endless harassment by some of my best friends was really for my own good,” Dillon admitted. “That stinging insult in front of the whole gym class was the moment that really turned my life around.”
“It’s mostly students that do fat shaming,” Principal Prince said, “but teachers need to step up and take a larger role in verbally abusing kids for being overweight little pieces of shit.”