Newlyweds Excitedly Planning Divorce

PITTSBURGH, PA - Anxiously anticipating the next big step in their relationship, area newlyweds Frank and Hailey Booth are excitedly planning for their divorce, sources...

Man Certain Failed Relationship Would Work If Ex Were Different Person

Upset over s recent breakup, local man Billy Webb is certain his now failed relationship with his ex-girlfriend would have worked if she had just been a totally different person.

Area Woman Seeks Divorce Just Four Months After Marrying Herself

Unable to find a man deserving of her, 38 year old art director Mary Schwartz recently became sologamous and married herself.

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USDA Approves Free Range Girlfriends

WASHINGTON, DC - After numerous disturbing reports of being unnecessarily caged to one boyfriend, the USDA has finally taken...

Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Drug-Fueled Orgies Reduce Stress, Boost Morale Says ClutchX CEO

DENVER, CO - With staff more relaxed and cooperative after using hard drugs combined with group fornication, ClutchX CEO...

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Perfectionist Looter Knows He Can Pillage Stores, Burn Down Police Stations Better Than That

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Disappointed with his poor performance during...

Internet Is Cesspool of Facts & Knowledge Warns Christian Televangelist

A prominent Christian religious leader warned that the internet is nothing but a cesspool of facts and knowledge and should be avoided at all costs.

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