The US Department of Commerce published a new report Tuesday outlining the state of the American economy. The 220-page report states that spoiled rich girls leeching off their parents boosted the US economy by at least 3.5% last quarter, confirming what economic forecasters had already predicted.
Harvard economist Pablo Vidal felt vindicated by the report. “From all the latest economic indicators, we forecast spoiled rich girls leeching off their parents was going to sharply improve economic growth. Having everything paid for by one’s parents is a great way to spur the economy.”
Mr Vidal stated that even though growth was strong, we should be cautious. “In order to maintain the current level of growth, the US economy will need a large injection of spoiled rich girls who lavishly spend their parents’ wealth without a care in the world,” he warned.
“Money cannot be an object,” the award-winning economist stated firmly. “These girls must spend even despite their parents’ threats of cutting them off financially. No price is too high for continued economic growth,” Mr Vidal said.
Spoiled rich girl Summer Chapman told reporters that leeching off her parents is hard work. “Do you know how many times I had to ask my dad if he’s paid the rent for me this month? It’s so exhausting and unfair. And both of my sisters go through the exact same thing!”
Congress is considering legislation that could expand the boost of rich girls leeching off parents to middle-class girls, adding momentum to the strong but still frail economy.